Jokes Jokes Jokes

[thelufias]

Hummmm....I've got to keep a few of those in mind LOLOL......

[thelufias]

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

[thelufias]

An aged farmer and his wife were leaning against the edge of their pig-pen when the old woman wistfully recalled that the next week would mark their golden wedding anniversary.

"Let's have a party, Homer," she suggested. "Let's kill a pig."

The farmer scratched his grizzled head. "Gee, Ethel," he finally answered, "I don't see why the pig should take the blame for something that happened fifty years ago."

[thelufias]

A farmer and his brand new bride were riding home from the chapel in a wagon pulled by a team of horses, when the older horse stumbled.

The farmer said, "That's once."

A little further along, the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer said, "That's twice."

After a little, while the poor old horse stumbled again.

The farmer didn't say anything, but reached under the seat, pulled out a shotgun and shot the horse.

His brand new bride yelled, telling him, "That was an awful thing to do."

The farmer said, "That's once."

[Jherrith]

Remember if you shoot a duck ... I am scared of toasters

[thelufias]

Ummmm.....Rigggggghhhht.....

[thelufias]

Employer: "We need someone responsible for the job."

"Sir your search ends here! In my previous job whenever something went wrong, everybody said I was responsible."

[Jherrith]

Restaurant reviews for the new diner on the moon claim the food is okay, but there's no atmosphere.

[thelufias]

The broccoli says "I look like a small tree", the mushroom says "I look like an umbrella", the walnut says "I look like a brain", and the banana says "Can we please change the subject?"

[Jherrith]

Possibly