Jokes Jokes Jokes

[thelufias]

A Martian couple and an Earthling couple have met and are talking about all sorts of things.

Finally, the subject of sex comes up.

"Just how do you guys do it?" asked the Earthling.

"Pretty much the way you do," responded the Martian.

Discussion ensues and finally the couples decide to swap partners for the night and experience one another.

The female Earthling and the male Martian go off to a bedroom where the Martian strips. He's got  a teeny, weeny member, very short and very narrow.

"What can you do with THAT!?" exclaims the woman.

"Why?" he asked, "What's the matter?"

"Well," she replied, "it's nowhere near long enough. It'll never reach!"

"No problem," he said and proceeded to slap his forehead with his palm. With each slap of his forehead, his member grew until it was quite impressively long.

"Well," she said. "That's quite impressive, but it's still pretty narrow."

"No problem," he said again and started pulling his ears. With each pull his member grew wider and wider until the entire measurement was extremely exciting to the woman.

"Wow!" she exclaimed as they fell into bed and made mad, passionate love.

The next day the couples rejoined their normal partners and went off together.

As they walked along the Earthling male said, "Well, was it any good?" "I hate to say it," she said, "but it was really wonderful. How about you?"

"Well," he said, "It was the weirdest thing. She kept slapping me on the forehead and pulling my ears all night."

[Radkres]

 
"There are three kinds of men. The ones that learn by reading. The few who learn by observation.
The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."
~Will Rogers~

There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
~Will Rogers~

The short memories of the American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
~Will Rogers~

When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
~Will Rogers~

If stupidity got us in this mess, how come it can't get us out.
~Will Rogers~

Personally, I have always felt that the best doctor in the world is the Veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter...he's just got to know.
~Will Rogers~

[thelufias]

Always enjoyed Will Rogers witticisms.....Thanks for posting them

[Jherrith]

Best meme ever from FB

When Nov 1st rolls around and we are to turn our clocks back for daylight savings time.

Not doing it, who in their right mind wants another hour of 2020

[thelufias]

Exactly......

[Jherrith]

from FB

What triggers your anxieties?

Nouns.

Nouns?

Well, people, places and things mostly

[thelufias]

Fits you to a "T" my friend.....but you do leave the shell home every now and then.....Much better then earlier on ......

[thelufias]

Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!

[Jherrith]

Seconded

[Jherrith]

Well now,

The lights were turned off in the bay at my work.

The office lady came out and turned on one row of them and I asked, "What can you not see in the dark?

Yes, I can see in the dark that is why I turned on the light.

 
 

Seriously