Lil Johnny Jokes

[thelufias]

 

[thelufias]

Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"

[thelufias]

Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. "My Father is better than your Father!" Billy declared.

"No, he's not!" Johnny responded.

"My brother is better than you brother!" Billy said.

"He is not! He is not!" yelled Little Johnny.

"My Mother is better than your Mother!" Billy continued.

A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. I've heard my father say the same thing more than once."

[Jherrith]

[deeleelaw57]

Little April was not the best student in Sunday school.
Usually she slept through the class.


One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?"


When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted April and the teacher said, "Very good" and April fell back asleep.


A while later the teacher asked April, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, April didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted April and the teacher said, "very good," and April fell back to sleep.


Then the teacher asked April a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time April jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!"


The Teacher fainted.

[Jherrith]

[thelufias]

 

[Chiron]

Mommy is in the kitchen from where she can hear Little Johnny play with his toy train in the living room. She hears the train stop and Johnny say,
"All you mean assholes who want to get off the train should get the hell out immediately. And as for the morons who are getting aboard, move your asses 'cause we have to get going".
 
 Shocked by such a rude language she rushes to the living room,
"Johnny, we don't use that kind of language in this house! As a punishment you now go upstairs to your room for two hours, then if you mind your language you can play with your train again."
 
 Two hours later Johnny is back playing with his train. The train stops and she hears him say,
"To all the passengers about to leave the train, thank you for traveling with us and please don't forget your luggage. We hope you had a pleasant journey. To our new travelers I wish to welcome you aboard. Please find a seat before we start again."
 
A proud smile appears on Mommy's face, then she hears Little Johnny add,
"And if any of you assholes are pissed off because of the two hour delay, feel free to take it out on the fat bitch in the kitchen".

[Jherrith]

[thelufias]

Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little Johnny?"

Little Johnny: "My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."