Lil Johnny Jokes

[thelufias]

LOLOL....there is ALWAYS an adult version to Little Johnny Jokes.....

And got a kick out of the Cat one LOLOL

[thelufias]

Little Johnny's teacher asks, "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Do any of you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Little Johnny replies, "Because George was the one holding the axe?

[Chiron]

While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.
His father sees him and angrily says "That's cruelty! No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon Johnny's Dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's cruelty! No butter for you for one month!" he shouts sternly.

Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach runs across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and whispers "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"

[thelufias]

I bet he doesn't tell her.......

[thelufias]

Little Johnny's Chemistry teacher wanted to teach his class a lesson about the evils of liquor, so he set up an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whiskey, and two worms.

"Now, class. Observe what happens to the two the worms," said the professor putting the first worm in the glass of water.

The worm in the water moved about, twisting and seemingly unharmed.

He then dropped the second work in the whiskey glass.

It writhed in pain for a moment, then quickly sank to the bottom and died.

"Now kids, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" he asked.

Little Johnny raised his hand and wisely responded, "Drink whiskey and you won't get worms!"

[Chiron]

As long as this "good" IP address lasts...

Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail.

Little Johnny closes his eyes, thinks hard for a while and then says "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."

[Chiron]

Little Johnny comes downstairs crying.

His mother asks
"What’s the matter now?"

"Dad was hanging a picture and just hit his thumb with the hammer", he says through his tears.

"Oh come on!", soothes Mommy, "I understand you are upset, but a big boy like you shouldn't cry at something like that. Why didn’t you just laugh?"

"That's what I did!" sobs Johnny.

[thelufias]

Bwaaaaa Haaaaa Haaaaa.....

Awesome ones....

[thelufias]

Little Johnny was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."

[Chiron]

The Sunday school teacher asks:

"Now Johnny, tell me frankly: do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," replies Little Johnny, "We don’t have to, my Mom is a great cook!"