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In the Seelie Court

Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 3598 times)

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Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #260 on: March 17, 2019, 03:08:39 PM »
Saw that coming :tearlaugh:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #261 on: March 17, 2019, 03:11:04 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:    :toast:
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Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #262 on: March 17, 2019, 03:20:20 PM »
A teacher in New York City wanted to see how many animals the city kids in her fourth-grade class could identify.

She drew a picture of a cow on the blackboard and said, "Who can tell me what this is?"

A little girl raised her hand. "Yes, Janie, what do you think it is?" "It's a cow, teacher." "Very good, Janie," said the teacher.

Then she drew a picture of a pig, and a little boy answered correctly.

She drew several other barnyard animals and was unable to stump the class.

Finally, she decided to try something a little more difficult. She drew a stag with a large spread of antlers.

The kids just stared, but nobody offered an answer.

"I'll give you a hint," said the teacher. "What does your mommy call your daddy when she's trying to be 'lovey-dovey'?"

Instantly, little Johnny raised his hand and said,  "Ooh, ooh!, I know, Teacher. It's a big horny bastard!"
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Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #263 on: March 17, 2019, 03:27:58 PM »
:thumb_up:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #264 on: March 17, 2019, 03:36:03 PM »
 :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #265 on: March 25, 2019, 05:16:49 PM »
Lil' Johnny and Lil' Suzie were walking home from school one day.

As they walked along, they saw two dogs knotted up along side the road, going at it like rabbits. "What are they doing, Johnny" Suzie asked?

Well, Lil' Johnny, being a man of the world for all his 12 years, knew what they were doing, but was embarrassed to say, so he said, "Well, he's scaring her".

Lil' Suzie replied, "Oh".

They walked a little further and Lil' Suzie said, "Scare me, Lil' Johnny".

Well, Lil' Johnny thought, "What the hell," so he took her into the bushes and "scared" her.

After they were finished, they started walking home again. Pretty soon, they walked past a stallion mounting a mare in the field.

"What are they doing, Lil' Johnny" she asked?

"Well, he's scaring her." So Lil' Suzie said, "Scare me again, Lil' Johnny".

So, Lil' Johnny took her into the bushes and "scared" her again.

After they were finished, they continued walking home. Soon, you guessed it, they saw a bull and a heifer in the field, going at it.

"What are they doing, Lil' Johnny" she asked again?

"Uh, he's scaring her," Lil' Johnny replied.

After a few more minutes of walking, Lil' Suzie said, "Scare me again, Lil' Johnny".

Lil' Johnny, not being as much of a man as he had thought, blurted out, "BOO, damn it, BOO"!
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Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #266 on: March 29, 2019, 03:38:12 PM »
Little Johnny's preschool class went on a field trip to the fire station.

The firefighter giving the presentation held up a smoke detector and asked the class: "Does anyone know what this is used for?"

Little Johnny's hand shot up and the firefighter called on him.

Little Johnny replied: "That's how we know that supper is ready!"
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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #267 on: April 01, 2019, 06:16:19 PM »
Teacher asked : Why are you late for school?

Johnny: Because of the Sign.

Teacher : What Sign?

Johnny : The sign that says "School ahead go slow"
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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #268 on: May 09, 2019, 06:06:41 PM »
The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living.

One little girl said her father was a doctor, another said her mother was an engineer.

When it was Little Johnny's turn, he stood up and said "My mom's a whore."

Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. Then, 15 minutes later, he returned.

So the teacher asked "Did you tell the principal what you said in class?"

Johnny said, "Yes."

"Well, what did the principal say?"

"He said that every job is important in our economy, gave me a pocket full of lollies and asked for my phone number ..."
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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #269 on: May 22, 2019, 01:36:58 PM »
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.

"What's wrong, dearest?" asked the confused husband.

"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and chains under her bed, along with a very erotic porn magazine!

What ever are we going to do?"

"Well," replied the man, "I guess a spanking is out of the question?"
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