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Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 3267 times)

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Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #220 on: February 03, 2019, 09:58:13 PM »

Little Johnny asks his mother her age.


She replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."


Johnny then asks his mother how much she weighs.


Again his mother replies, "Gentlemen don't ask ladies that question."


The boy then asks, "Why did Daddy leave you?"


To this, the mother says, "You shouldn't ask that," and sends him to his room.


On the way, Johnny trips over his mother's purse. When he picks it up, her driver's license falls out.


Johnny runs back into the room. "I know all about you now. You are 36 years old, weigh 127 pounds and Daddy left you because you got an 'F' in sex!"

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #221 on: February 04, 2019, 04:21:46 AM »
Snicker
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #222 on: February 04, 2019, 10:13:05 AM »
A teacher asks the children to discuss what their fathers do for a living.

Little Mary says: "My Dad is a lawyer.

He puts the bad guys in jail."

Little Jack says: "My Dad is a doctor.

He makes all the sick people better."

All the kids in the class had their turn except Little Johnny.

Teacher says: "Johnny, what does your Dad do?"

Johnny says: "My Dad is dead."

"I'm sorry to hear that, but what did he do before he died?"

"He turned blue and shit on the carpet."
We Shall Stand

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #223 on: February 04, 2019, 10:21:20 AM »
 :OMFG:     :nopanic;   :thud:

Offline Chiron

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #224 on: February 07, 2019, 12:41:37 PM »
"Do you like that book you're reading, Little Johnny?"

"I dunno Granny... sort of boring, and no pictures, and so many funny words..."

"What's it about?"

"Uh, a lady Chat or something, and a, uh... videogamekeeper..."

"JOHNNY! Where did you get it??? That's definitely no kids' stuff!"

"I-it was in Granpa's lib'ry... but Granny, what's exactly a 'lover'?"

"Now listen little chap, you're not supp... OH DEAR GOD!!!!"


The old little lady slaps her forehead, stands up abruptly, runs to the bedroom holding her breath, opens an old squeaky cabinet...
... and an ancient brittle skeleton collapses clattering to her feet.
"I can resist everything but temptation" (Oscar Wilde)

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #225 on: February 09, 2019, 05:11:54 PM »

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.


 "Let's not be too harsh on them, they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." Johnny's mother says.


"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #226 on: February 09, 2019, 05:38:23 PM »
 :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :opr8:
We Shall Stand

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #227 on: February 09, 2019, 05:41:46 PM »
One day, Little Susie got her monthly bleeding for the first time in her life.

Not quite certain what was happening, and somewhat frightened, she decided to tell Little Johnny.

Little Susie dropped her panties and showed Little Johnny what was happening.

Little Johnny's eyes opened wide in amazement. "You know," he said, "I'm not a doctor, but it looks like someone just ripped your balls off!"
We Shall Stand

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #228 on: February 09, 2019, 05:44:03 PM »
Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Susie whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."

Little Susie thought about this for a moment, then said "So why is the groom wearing black?"
We Shall Stand

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #229 on: February 09, 2019, 06:25:30 PM »
 :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:  I am glad Little Johnny is up on his anatomy.

 

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