* * *

FA Community Gifts


The time has started for gathering goodies for the gift giving that starts in October.....Here is the link to read about it.

Gathered so far 8 gifts.
Participants
Aelin -- Both
sidherose -- Hallow
Agent0013 -- Both
CathyY -- Both
Dreamer -- Both
Llola ane -- Both
M-Callahan -- Both
ali_sen -- Hallow
MilosGulan -- Hallow
Noshoba -- Both

OFW -- Both
Napalmarsenal -- Hallow
Carolann -- Hallow

Forum Directory

Voting Booth

Voting Booth



Click image to go cast your vote,
 then go
 here
===> 2019 voting thread!
to post it in the forum!

Award Info

    Votes Need --- Award

   10,000 -- Platinum Award
     5,000 --- Gold Award
     2,500 --- Silver Award
     1,000 --- Bronze Award
        300 --- Pewter Award
        100 --- Copper Award

2019 Voting Awards

100 Votes 300 Votes 1000 Votes 1000 Votes 5000 Votes 5000 Votes

Donations


   

We have many special projects and every now and then a Special Cause that requires your generous help.

There are times when we do a collection to help a member in need of assistance and all those proceeds go directly to that member.

All donations of what ever size are WELCOME.

Thank you.

Featured Art

Winter

 

Weekly Winners

Click images to view

SAOTW
Wokfu © JVRenderer




*****************



TOTW

Millie © Fafnir




*****************



Toon It

Welcome to Runtime Town 07 © Aelin




*****************


Monthly Winners

 August COTM Winner

Layla with Hat Trick © Sidherose



Contest Information!

image


~Monthly Competitions~


September CONTEST 

Elient ~ 12th Annual Magical School Daze ~ Fantasy High ~ Sept 2019 Contest ~  

Album Located HERE

*****************

Eleasis ~ Highsun~ and the ~ Eyes are the windows to the Soul ~  August 2019 Contest
Winners have been announced.
DETAILS HERE

*****************

~ September 2019 Challenge of the Month (COTM)~

"The Hour of the Nurse"

Details are HERE

Album located HERE


*****************




*****************

~Weekly Competitions~

Weekly Contest Sponsors

image 

Sponsor Showcase

Our monthly "Challenge Of The Month (COTM)" winner gets a surprise sponsor each month


Site Skins!





Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
September 19, 2019, 02:30:49 PM

Login with username, password and session length

Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 313988
  • Total Topics: 15654
  • Online Today: 253
  • Online Ever: 526
  • (November 04, 2018, 06:34:33 AM)
Users Online

Giveaway of the Day

Partnered Sale


has an offer for you!  You get 10% off any order -- valid until December 31, 2019
 ... use this coupon code: FAC1019
 
 Tell you friends about this offer too so all can save.

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 2623 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Online deeleelaw57

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 409
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #210 on: January 18, 2019, 05:26:24 PM »

Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.
Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.
"From Heaven," replied his mom.
"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 57686
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #211 on: January 18, 2019, 05:40:29 PM »
:thumb_up:

For sure
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online deeleelaw57

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 409
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #212 on: January 20, 2019, 07:00:56 PM »

One morning, a firefighter came to Little Johnny's classroom to give a safety presentation.
He held up a smoke alarm and asked the class if anyone knew what it was.
Little Johnny immediately raised his hand, and the firefighter called on him to answer.
"That's the bell that tells mom that supper is ready!"

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 57686
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #213 on: January 20, 2019, 07:10:16 PM »
:yikes:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 74044
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #214 on: January 21, 2019, 12:53:32 PM »
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.

The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet.

He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room.

She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can."

The next on the list was Little Johnny, sitting in the back of the room.

He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!"


We Shall Stand

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 57686
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #215 on: January 21, 2019, 01:12:58 PM »
:woohoo:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online deeleelaw57

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 409
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #216 on: January 21, 2019, 03:59:08 PM »
i really like that kids can do attitude.

Online deeleelaw57

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 409
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #217 on: January 24, 2019, 03:23:14 PM »

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.
Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next.
"My dad owns a farm too.
Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator.
Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Johnny.
"My uncle Ted fought in the war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory.
He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer.
Then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy soldiers.
He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets!
So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more.
Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked.
After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

Offline Jherrith

  • Doctor of the Attic
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 57686
  • Kianna shall see you now
    • Jherriths Lair
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #218 on: January 24, 2019, 03:27:16 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

  • The Sane One
  • Administrator
  • Reckoning Force
  • ***************
  • Posts: 74044
  • Straight Jackets are FREE
    • The Fantasy Attic
Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #219 on: January 24, 2019, 06:50:20 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:  :viking:
We Shall Stand

 

Poser and Daz


Click image to go to Daz to read all about the program.

Daz Studio--Free



attic_468x175.jpg