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Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 3288 times)

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Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #210 on: January 18, 2019, 05:26:24 PM »

Little Johnny's newborn baby sister just wouldn't stop crying one day.
Annoyed, Little Johnny asked his mom where they had got her from.
"From Heaven," replied his mom.
"Well, I can see why they threw her out!"

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #211 on: January 18, 2019, 05:40:29 PM »
:thumb_up:

For sure
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #212 on: January 20, 2019, 07:00:56 PM »

One morning, a firefighter came to Little Johnny's classroom to give a safety presentation.
He held up a smoke alarm and asked the class if anyone knew what it was.
Little Johnny immediately raised his hand, and the firefighter called on him to answer.
"That's the bell that tells mom that supper is ready!"

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #213 on: January 20, 2019, 07:10:16 PM »
:yikes:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #214 on: January 21, 2019, 12:53:32 PM »
A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem.

The first kid sat in the first row was a teacher's pet.

He stood and said, "My name is Dan, and when I become a man, I would like to go to Japan if I can, and I think I can."

The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room.

She stood up and answered the roll call by stating, "My name is Suzy, and when I become a lady I would like to have a baby if I can, and I think I can."

The next on the list was Little Johnny, sitting in the back of the room.

He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a damn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think I can!"


We Shall Stand

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #215 on: January 21, 2019, 01:12:58 PM »
:woohoo:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #216 on: January 21, 2019, 03:59:08 PM »
i really like that kids can do attitude.

Online deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #217 on: January 24, 2019, 03:23:14 PM »

One day at the end of class, little Johnny's teacher asks the class to go home and think of a story to be concluded with the moral of that story.
The following day the teacher asks for the first volunteer to tell their story.
Little Suzy raises her hand.
"My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town to sell them at the market.
Well, one Sunday we hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the basket and onto the road."
When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket."
Little Lucy went next.
"My dad owns a farm too.
Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator.
Last weekend only eight of the 12 eggs hatched.";
Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story.
Lucy replied, "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."
Next up was little Johnny.
"My uncle Ted fought in the war, and his plane was shot down over enemy territory.
He jumped out before it crashed but could only take a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete.
On the way down, he drank the case of beer.
Then he landed right in the middle of 100 enemy soldiers.
He shot 70 with his machine gun, but then he ran out of bullets!
So he pulled out his machete and killed 20 more.
Then the blade on his machete broke, so he killed the last ten with his bare hands."
The teacher looked a little shocked.
After clearing her throat, she asked what possible moral there could be to this story.
"Well," Johnny replied, "Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking."

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #218 on: January 24, 2019, 03:27:16 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:
"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"

Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Offline thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #219 on: January 24, 2019, 06:50:20 PM »
:tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:  :viking:
We Shall Stand

 

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