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Fafnir

2024 Mar 28 06:20:23
 :easter5:
 

vash99

2024 Mar 27 10:19:38
yeah well at least the chemo my doctor suggested is a lot less harsh than when my mom had it
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 26 10:42:06
I Hope You Come up Negative on Cancer! Chemo is no Fun!  :3flower;
 

vash99

2024 Mar 26 10:14:09
i did the doctor was slightly concerned but its already fading i go back to work next week with limitations and a referral to an oncologist for blood work and possible chemo
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 26 12:06:16
Any bruising should be reported to your Doctor if you didn't know how it got there.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 23 11:02:10
i do im always walking around this part of town it helps but yesterday i saw a big bruise on my abdomen its already fading but it caught me off guard
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 22 12:27:16
Reminder Do Your Home Work Too! Do Not Be My Aunt Who Does nothing unless they are standing There!  :hug:
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 22 09:20:19
That's a good thing vash...they push you...but it's worth it in the end.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 21 09:34:30
im going to msc in olive branch this weekend for me its physical therapy
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 21 04:14:51
Snow Tomorrow....we shall see....if not....we won't see
 

vash99

2024 Mar 19 09:59:20
 :havesum:
 

Fafnir

2024 Mar 19 05:36:57
 :toast:
 

Pommerlis

2024 Mar 19 04:54:08
Renovating is hard work!
 

vash99

2024 Mar 18 09:45:35
the food is overseasoned and they wake u up every two hours to check vitals, blood test , give the occasional tylonol  i got more sleep in one night home last night than four days in the hospital lolon another note i found the fifth incision its a lot longer than the rest and it stings
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 18 10:49:35
I know what you mean Vash...They wake you up to give you a sleeping pill LOL

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Giveaway of the Day

Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 15487 times)

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Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #270 on: July 03, 2019, 03:24:14 PM »
One Sunday morning the pastor noticed little Johnny was standing staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church.

The young man of seven had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the pastor walked up and stood beside him and gazing up at the plaque he said quietly, "Good morning son."

"Good morning pastor" replied the young man not taking his eyes off the plaque. "Sir, what is this?" Johnny asked.

"Well son, these are all the people who have died in the service", replied the pastor.

Soberly, they stood together staring up at the large plaque. Little Johnny's voice barely broke the silence when he asked quietly, "Which one sir, the 8:30 or the 10:30?"

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #271 on: July 03, 2019, 04:43:14 PM »
 :funny: :duh:


"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"


Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #272 on: July 09, 2019, 12:17:28 PM »
The teacher noticed that Johnny had been daydreaming for a long time. She decided to get his attention. "Johnny," she said, "If the world is 25,000 miles around and eggs are sixty cents a dozen, how old am I?

"Thirty-four," Johnny answered unhesitatingly.

The teacher replied "Well, that's not far from my actual age. Tell me...how did you guess?"

Oh, there's nothing to it," Johnny said. "My big sister is seventeen and she's only half-crazy."

Online thelufias

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #273 on: July 09, 2019, 12:20:25 PM »
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother. He says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth."

The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your daddy a great big hug!"

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #274 on: July 09, 2019, 03:46:26 PM »
 :puah:   :crazysmile:   :thud:  good ones all

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #275 on: July 09, 2019, 04:06:28 PM »

Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
Did you copy hers?, she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #276 on: July 09, 2019, 04:07:02 PM »

Little Johnny was being questioned by the teacher during an arithmetic lesson.
'If you had ten dollars,' said the teacher, 'and I asked you for a loan of eight dollars, how much would you have left?'
'Ten,' said Little Johnny firmly.
'Ten?' the teacher said 'How do you make it ten?'
'Well,' replied Little Johnny 'You may ask for a loan of eight dollars, but that doesn't mean you'll get it!'

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #277 on: July 09, 2019, 05:30:23 PM »
:tearlaugh: on all of the above great ones


"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"


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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #278 on: July 09, 2019, 06:47:25 PM »
:yesway:  Good ones DLL......  :tearlaugh:

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #279 on: August 07, 2019, 08:38:32 PM »
Everyone was seated around the table when dinner was served. When little Susie received her plate, she started eating right away.

"Susie, wait until we've said our prayer," her mother reminded her.

"I don't have to." - The little girl replied.

"Of course you do." - Her mother insisted. "We say a prayer before eating at our house."

"That's at our house," Susie explained, "but this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook."

 

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