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Fafnir

2024 Mar 28 06:20:23
 :easter5:
 

vash99

2024 Mar 27 10:19:38
yeah well at least the chemo my doctor suggested is a lot less harsh than when my mom had it
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 26 10:42:06
I Hope You Come up Negative on Cancer! Chemo is no Fun!  :3flower;
 

vash99

2024 Mar 26 10:14:09
i did the doctor was slightly concerned but its already fading i go back to work next week with limitations and a referral to an oncologist for blood work and possible chemo
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 26 12:06:16
Any bruising should be reported to your Doctor if you didn't know how it got there.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 23 11:02:10
i do im always walking around this part of town it helps but yesterday i saw a big bruise on my abdomen its already fading but it caught me off guard
 

Radkres

2024 Mar 22 12:27:16
Reminder Do Your Home Work Too! Do Not Be My Aunt Who Does nothing unless they are standing There!  :hug:
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 22 09:20:19
That's a good thing vash...they push you...but it's worth it in the end.
 

vash99

2024 Mar 21 09:34:30
im going to msc in olive branch this weekend for me its physical therapy
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 21 04:14:51
Snow Tomorrow....we shall see....if not....we won't see
 

vash99

2024 Mar 19 09:59:20
 :havesum:
 

Fafnir

2024 Mar 19 05:36:57
 :toast:
 

Pommerlis

2024 Mar 19 04:54:08
Renovating is hard work!
 

vash99

2024 Mar 18 09:45:35
the food is overseasoned and they wake u up every two hours to check vitals, blood test , give the occasional tylonol  i got more sleep in one night home last night than four days in the hospital lolon another note i found the fifth incision its a lot longer than the rest and it stings
 

thelufias

2024 Mar 18 10:49:35
I know what you mean Vash...They wake you up to give you a sleeping pill LOL

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Giveaway of the Day

Giveaway of the Day

Author Topic: Lil Johnny Jokes  (Read 15483 times)

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Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #240 on: March 08, 2019, 09:00:17 PM »
 :thumb_up:  Got to love a well trained class.   :funny: 

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #241 on: March 11, 2019, 04:47:39 PM »

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex."
The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?"
Johnny says, "Seventy-three."
The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness...uh...very good, John, very good..."
She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?"
Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one...where the guy just lays on top of the girl."
Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."

Online Jherrith

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #242 on: March 11, 2019, 09:29:00 PM »
:tearlaugh:


"But who is stronger, truly, I asked myself, he who continues to wound and bleed himself to please others, or he who refuses any longer to do so?"


Fighting Slave of Gor by John Norman

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #243 on: March 13, 2019, 11:49:00 AM »
 :toast:  :tearlaugh: :tearlaugh:

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #244 on: March 14, 2019, 07:01:25 AM »
One morning little Johnny comes walking down the stairs to find his breakfast not on the table.

He looks over at his mother and says "Hey mom, where is my breakfast?"

His mother looks at him and says "Well, you won't get your breakfast until you finish your chores."

Johnny walks out of the house and heads down to the barn to do his chores.

He goes in an gets the chicken feed and walks into the pens. All the chickens quickly gather around him not letting him get to the food bowl so he kicks one of them out of the way and pours it on the ground.

Next, he gets the pig feed and goes in to feed the pigs. Once again, all the pigs gather around him. So, he kicks one out of the way and pours it on the ground.

Finally, he grabs the cow's feed and walks into the pen and the milk cow corners him. He kicks her out of the way and pours the food on the ground.

Happy that he was finally finished he races into the house to eat breakfast. Upon getting to the table he finds a plate with a piece of toast on it. He turns to his mother and says "Where is the rest of it?"

"Well, you kicked the chickens so you get no eggs, you kicked the pigs so you get no sausage, and you kicked the cow so you get no milk."

About that time Johnny's father comes walking down the stairs and finds the pussy cat sitting right in the middle of the stair case. So, he kicks him out of the way.

Little Johhny turns to his mother and says "You want me to tell him or are you going to?"

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #245 on: March 14, 2019, 11:28:51 AM »
Got to feel for Johnny's dad. Johnny will survive a day without a big breakfast. Not so sure pop can go a night without his ...

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #246 on: March 14, 2019, 11:32:27 AM »
Probably not.... LOL :pervy:

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #247 on: March 14, 2019, 11:40:06 AM »
If my granddad ever saw you abuse an animal he would pay you back big time. My uncle kicked at his big old mutt one morning and grandpa gave my uncle a swift kick to the bottom, square and hard. My uncle jumped and yelled " NO FAIR I Missed ". You missed on purpose asked grandpa. Everyone knew you should and never could lie to him, so my uncle answered truthfully, no not on purpose. Grandpa paused a moment and said to my uncle get in the truck. He turned to my grandmother and said hold our breakfast, I'm taking the boy to the eye doctor he is in bad need of glasses.

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #248 on: March 14, 2019, 12:03:54 PM »
Not many get an eye exam and a kick in the butt at the same time LOLOLOL

Offline deeleelaw57

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Re: Lil Johnny Jokes
« Reply #249 on: March 15, 2019, 03:02:12 PM »

On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"

 

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